Experiment No. 9: Kitchen Buddies

Blog Post
Dec. 3, 2019

The Basics

We’re Trying to Solve: Sharing the dishwashing load
Target Audience: Families, couples, housemates
Ages: 6 and up
Category: Household chores
Estimated Time: 30 minutes
Difficulty Level: Easy, one week

Keeping a family kitchen tidy is a task that’s difficult all year round, but it becomes an even bigger pain point during the holidays when many household kitchens see an almost constant barrage of baking, dinner parties, last-minute potluck preparations, and hopefully, friends and family time.

When my husband and I started working together to more fairly share the load, we started really small. In the morning, I unloaded the dishwasher. He loaded. And if he didn’t load, I didn’t “rescue” him and do it for him. Because we had agreed to this system - as kitchen-cleaning buddies - he couldn’t be mad when the dishes were waiting for him at the end of the day. Sometimes, I’d take a photo of the dirty sink and text it to him, with a line, “Really?” For us, being a better team in keeping the kitchen tidy meant taking personal responsibility for different inter-connected tasks. We each had an investment in holding each other accountable, and with these assigned tasks, there was no way for one of us (aka, me) to be left to do it all when life got too crazy. If it didn’t get done, it didn’t get done. We both had to do our part to make sure it did.

Kids especially like rules and systems like this that establish fairness: “Your turn/my turn. You wash/I dry. Or you set the table, I clear the table.” Or, “You cook, I clean up.” Divvying up the chores and assigning family members a buddy should not only get everyone involved in the kitchen tidying themselves but will also make the work visible that it takes to keep the family fed and happy that would otherwise be invisible or taken for granted. Here are some ideas for getting started.

Directions

  1. Take a moment to think about who usually does the dishes and cleans up after meals - in the mornings, in the evenings, on weekends. Does one person seem to do most of the work? Or is it shared fairly? Would any other way be possible or fairer?
  2. Gather the family. For the coming week, designate pairs of kitchen buddies responsible for sharing dishwashing duties. For the family, you can draw names out of a hat to designate buddies.
  3. Set up a rotation schedule for the coming week. Do you switch pairs by the meal? By the day? By the week? You can post the schedule if you like to keep everyone on track. Assign tasks in a way that feels fair and most effective. Two easily distracted little ones might not be the best pair for getting dishes done, but Dad and a little one might make a great washing and drying team.
  4. Set standards. Does doing the dishes mean washing the pots and pans, for instance? (Little ones may need additional help with this, a backup buddy.)
  5. Decide on consequences. What happens if the kitchen buddies don’t do their assigned dish duties? Get the entire family to agree to keep everyone accountable.
  6. On kitchen buddy duty days, buddies work in tandem to get it all done and hold one another accountable: one buddy empties the dishwasher or dries and puts away the clean dishes in the dish rack. The other buddy loads the dishwasher, or hand washes the dirty dishes. One buddy wipes the table and countertops. The other buddy puts the food away.
  7. Family members not on duty, make sure to thank the kitchen buddies for a job well done!

Connect With the Better Life Lab

Are you going to try this week’s experiment? Do you have a story about how you and your own family solved a problem with the work at home? Is there a specific challenge you’ve been trying to tackle? Can this experiment be improved? Please let us know via this form, at bllx@newamerica.org, or in our Facebook group for BLLx Beta Testers.

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