Ali and Pat

Julia Craven

Dec. 19, 2024

Ali is trying.

Ever since she discovered she was pregnant with her son Pat in 2017, she’s dedicated herself to providing the best life for him—even when circumstances made it incredibly difficult.

Ali’s story painfully demonstrates how systems layer on top of one another to prevent people from living thriving lives. It’s never a single system holding someone back; it is often several winding together to suffocate families already struggling to make ends meet. For Ali, 25, it’s a combination of poverty, housing instability, the lack of affordable, high-quality child care cutting off opportunities for school and work, and the violence that, at times, finds people who live in economically disenfranchised and resource-deprived neighborhoods.

The pandemic hit Ali and Pat hard, and its impact has had a long tail for the mother-son duo. In 2020, Philadelphia’s Department of Human Services (DHS), which oversees child welfare in the city, removed Pat from Ali’s custody during a stint of homelessness. She’d left him with a close family friend while she slept overnight in a shelter. Eventually, they were reunited, and Ali secured permanent housing from 2021 to 2023. (By 2024, Pat had become a precocious six-year-old who routinely makes himself known throughout phone conversations as he seeks Ali’s attention. You can see those moments captured in italics during the interview.)

Once she got into permanent housing, she also began receiving Supplemental Security Income (SSI) due to her disability. Ali has been diagnosed with a mental health disorder that makes it difficult for her to work and go to school. It currently amounts to $943 per month. Ali also currently receives $200 in Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) funds for Pat and $22 for herself. She received more TANF cash for herself during the first two years of the pandemic, but she can’t remember how much. Despite only bringing in $1,165 now, Ali no longer qualifies for a child care subsidy. Child care would cost her $200 a week, and Ali isn’t sure why her local Early Learning Resource Centers, which manages the subsidy in Pennsylvania, thinks she can afford that [1].

“That doesn't take into consideration my expenses living independently and paying rent. I'm tryna get by as it is,” she said.

Then, in 2023, Ali was incarcerated for four months after defending herself and Pat from a violent attack. She lost her permanent housing and her spot on the waitlist for a Housing Choice Voucher to secure a two-bedroom apartment. Vouchers issued through Philadelphia’s Housing Authority (PHA)—which offered more housing options due to funding from the American Rescue Plan Act (ARPA)—were in high demand. Ali’s housing advocate informed her that PHA couldn’t hold her spot while she was incarcerated.

Still, she persisted in trying to get what she and Pat needed to build a stable life. During the four-year period covered in this conversation, Ali contacted multiple city and community programs to secure the resources she needed for herself and Pat. Federal COVID-19 relief funding in Philadelphia was wide-reaching in its impact. The city received $1.4 billion in ARPA funds, and $276 million went to keep the city’s programs running. This allowed Ali to access help applying for public benefits since BenePhilly, which is part of Philadelphia’s Office of Community Empowerment and Opportunity, kept its hotline up and running.

On the local level, philanthropic organizations kept the city’s conglomerate of nonprofits, which often partner with the city, above water. JEVS Human Services, another organization Ali contacted for professional development, received COVID-19 emergency relief funding from the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia and the Philadelphia Foundation. The latter also funded Congreso de Latinos Unidos, another nonprofit organization that offered Ali educational resources and workforce development opportunities. (This funding was separate from the significant tax breaks provided to nonprofits by the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security (CARES) Act.)

While this aid was good for most families—and Ali is very clear that it helped her, too—her story still brings questions about policy design to the forefront. Why should a mother sacrifice child care, and thus her potential career trajectory, to secure her social security income? If she’s attacked, defended herself, and subsequently incarcerated, why should she lose her housing at such a vulnerable moment? And why would her child, who was left with someone she trusted, be taken because she didn’t want him to sleep in a shelter with her?

We have used a pseudonym instead of their real names to protect the privacy and safety of the individuals involved. Ali is currently engaged in an active court case. To respect her ongoing legal process and ensure their security, we will not reveal any identifying details that could compromise her and her child’s well-being.

Below is Ali’s story, edited for length and clarity, as told to Julia Craven.

When the pandemic was still going on, DHS had actually took my son. I was in a shelter [2]. It was just a struggle from then to try and find a place to go. My son was like one and a half. We went to Florida. I came back. Had to stay with my mom. That didn't work out. I was just having trouble trying to find a place to stay, and going to a shelter was going to help me get my own housing, but I didn't want to go to a shelter with my son. The first night was horrible sleeping in the basement, and I didn't want him to—

She stops to address Pat. “Give me a second.”

I didn't want him to experience that. So I actually asked a friend, my foster mom when I was younger. I asked her if she could watch my son while I went to the shelter at night. And one night when I was in the shelter still trying to get my own place. But while I was in there, I had gotten a call from DHS that they were at my foster mom's house, and I wasn't there with him. I tried explaining to them that I couldn't leave because of the temporary housing I was in [3]. The next day, they had tooken him, and my [birth] mom tried to help me get him back by keeping him in kinship [4] with her so that I can continue trying to get housing.

“Mom?”

“What happened?”

“You broke this so much, Mom.”

“Okay, I'll help you fix it later.”

“But Mom—”

“Hold up. I'm on the phone, honey.”

Then, towards the middle of the pandemic, I got him back, and we were in transitional housing, so we were still trying to figure out different programs that can help us. I didn't have to worry about bills or anything like that. It was housing for a year. I was just trying to figure things out during the pandemic—child care and different resources. And then I was placed in permanent housing, and I had bills that I had to take care of and a whole nother environment and neighborhood I had to get used to. So I had a lot of resources with the different programs that I was in, but it was just really trying to adjust.

During the pandemic, I received cash assistance for my son and I used it for anything I needed around the house. It was through welfare—when I say welfare, the cash came from TANF. I get $22 in TANF now, but my son still receives $200. The only other income I have is my SSI. My rent is, I actually have an apartment that my mom found that's $600. So it's been most of my SSI check. And then using my food stamps for food.

My TANF cash was separate from my SSI, so my TANF cash was really for necessities. That was something that I was able to use to make sure I always had extra stuff I needed—soap, paper towels, toilet paper. Sometimes, we would run out before the month would end, but when I had that extra money, I was able to keep things stocked up in house. We didn't have to worry. Now I feel like we do worry about that a lot more than we did. Most of the time we do need [the extra money] because with the money that we have, even with food stamps, I'm trying to find a way to budget it and figure out how to make it last. But even now that it's [Nov] 19th, I'm only at a $100. Things will run out before the end of the month, and then I don't really have much to lean on. So we just try to make things stretch as much as we can.

Ali Is Resourceful and Constantly Seeks Out Other Community-Based Resources

[When filling out the applications and forms for the pandemic-era benefits programs,] I think some of the questions were a little hard for me to understand. I wasn't sure what they meant by the question or what they were really asking for. And I had gotten help from BenePhilly with applying for it, or some family advocates that were involved helped me, and it helped me a lot, so it didn't take long.

All the programs were just so helpful. I couldn't have gotten through being homeless and even getting a phone. So, there were resources that would help get a phone and pay for the phone bill. I went to the Broad Street Ministry. I went to Valley Youth House. Those kind of programs were just awesome support and always had food to give. So those were the kind of things that helped me out when I was homeless—and then being a part of the temporary housing program and the permanent housing program that helped me get on my feet with my own housing. That played a big part in helping me get furniture and everything; just to start me off in housing was awesome.

The housing program was awesome. Depending on my income, it would be 10 percent of whatever rent was. So, at one point, I was only getting $200 from [TANF], and I was only able to pay $20 for rent. So it was really helpful, especially when I really didn't have a lot of cash to work with. The housing and the recruiting center was pretty. We had a shared kitchen, but we all had our different apartments, our different rooms. They were really helpful. There was counselors and different people to talk to. It was a good place to start off at. That was a temporary housing. And the permanent housing, they placed me into an apartment with a private landlord. So I did a permanent housing with the Salvation Army, and they were my co-signer to the apartment, and that was helpful.

I reach out to a lot of help. So I think I heard from the first program from Community Legal Services I actually worked with them to get my SSI. So that's what's been keeping me afloat. There's been a few programs that I found that helped me get through school as well—JEVS Human Services. They had an IT pre-apprenticeship program that I did. Congreso had an IT program that I did, and Job Works that was with CareerLink [5]. They helped me as well.

A Run-In with the Criminal Justice System Upended Ali and Pat’s Stability

I was incarcerated from June till October [of 2023]. I actually lost my permanent housing, which is pretty upsetting because of how hard I worked for it. But they couldn't hold onto it for me. And there was a voucher for me to get a two-bedroom apartment, but they took it off the waitlist. So now I'm actually just, I've got a new apartment, and it's not with the permanent housing, so I'm just trying to figure this out on my own without support. But the neighborhood, I guess it's okay. I don't really go outside much. I usually stay to myself.

While I was incarcerated, my [birth] mom really helped me out. So I gave her—she had my phone and everything that I had she had, and she reached out to my housing advocate to let her know what the situation was. I even reached out to my housing advocate while I was incarcerated, and they were telling me that they were trying to hold on to the apartment for me. But by the time I came out, my mom had to help me put the down payment to a new apartment, and now I'm just trying to pay the rent. But while I was incarcerated, they told me they were trying to hold onto it, and then three months had passed, and they couldn't hold onto it anymore. I had lost it right before I came out, actually.

I'm still dealing with a trial. I'm actually on house arrest.

I was attacked by these people that have attacked me before, and I had a knife on me, and they had a—

She pauses again. “Pat, can you go to your room for me? Please go play with that in your room.” She waits until he’s gone.

So they had attacked me again for the second time, and I was with my son. I felt like I had to do what I had to do to get myself and my child out of there. And even while we were running, there were still people chasing us, trying to attack us. That's what I feel like being in Philly is just, I mean, I wouldn't intentionally harm anybody, but being in Philly, it's like you never know who's going to turn their back on you or who's going to attack you at any point. So, I always felt like I had to protect myself and, especially with my kid.

After I explained the situation to the judge, all those really high charges went down to misdemeanors because I explained that it was an act of self-defense.

Balancing Her Goals with Her Daily Responsibilities as a Mom Have Been Difficult—Especially Without Child Care

Me and my son are always together. I try my best since I've been pregnant to provide for him on my own. So that's when we were in a shelter and trying to figure things out when he was first born.

She pauses to address her son. “No, Pat. Don’t do that.”

Eventually, I lost child care because I gained SSI. So that was becoming stressful that I didn't have child care. That was a big struggle. I tried [to have both]. I talked to lawyers at Community Legal Services. I tried figuring out what was the issue, but apparently, they had passed this new rule that SSI recipients can't get cash, and if they're not cash beneficiaries, they can't receive child care, which is ridiculous.

I was also trying to go through school. I was finishing up the IT apprenticeship at JEVS Human Services. The daycare that he was in—my son was turning four, so the daycare that he was in was also a preschool, so they decided to switch him over to the preschool side, and they were able to keep him while I was still trying to finish school. But that was still a struggle as well because I had to leave early in order to pick up my son at 3 p.m. So, I didn't really stay to my full classes because I had to pick him up at a certain time.

It was hard for me to do the Career Link work programs as well because of it. That's when I started looking for other educational resources. But it stopped me from doing a lot because I didn't have any help with anybody watching my child. My family is always busy doing their own thing or got their own situations going on. So I don't really bother them much.

I try to finish school to try to get as much knowledge as I can. Right now, I failed this math placement test, so I have to take these algebra courses before I can go to the college that I'm trying to get into. I just haven't had the focus, but maybe it's just taking care of my household and Pat at the moment. In the morning, I'm really exhausted, but my son wakes me up at six, seven o'clock. I make him breakfast. He goes to school online, so that's something that we get ready for in the morning. And then I just help him with school throughout the day. And then, towards the end when he finished up school around three, I start cleaning up or organizing a little bit, make dinner around five—four, honestly, to get ready by five. I get my son ready for bed around six, seven, and that's it.

For kindergarten, I had Pat homeschooled because I realized when he was in preschool, they informed me that he was a little difficult to handle, to stay on task. And that's when I started getting him evaluated to see what kind of resources he needed. But instead of the preschool being in contact with me and trying to get those supports for him, they thought disciplining him by putting him in the closet or the basement was going to be effective. I felt like my son has been traumatized by that and a couple other things we've been through. I just wanted to keep an eye on him during his first year of school to make sure he understood the importance of school and didn't get distracted.

My son's been dealing with night scares a lot. Sometimes, he really doesn't like to go to bed, but we've been doing family therapy at the Children's Crisis Treatment Center. I’m just trying to help him the best way I can.

It's been frustrating and overwhelming trying to manage everything on my own. I'm actually taking some parenting classes at the center that can help me manage as well. It's been really helpful just getting some insight on what a structure looks like, especially because my mom was always busy. I don't really have a lot of guidance or if I had questions or anything. So, being in the classroom really helps. We've been learning about how play helps with the kids, helps them interact, helps them learn communication, different emotions.

They sent us home with some homework for the week. The first homework was to play with our child for five minutes, and now we have this emotion chart that we're supposed to talk to our child at least once or twice a day and ask them how they're feeling and talk to them about their emotions. My son has been loving it. He's been really engaged and learning a lot about his emotions. He still gets upset, which eventually, in other classes they're going to explain how to handle attention seeking and different moods that he has.

I did try to work a few times. I worked at ShopRite, but that didn't last me long. Then, I tried doing an internship as a receptionist, and that didn't last too long either. Most of my jobs will last about a month or two due to mental health reasons, so that's why I really want to try and finish school. I really want to work at home, work with computers. I was an intern at [a computer company], and that was actually an awesome job. They wanted to hire me, but I didn't have anybody to watch Pat so I couldn't take the job. They didn't offer any child care.

I know that my supervisor put in a good word for me and everything. I think if I was able to get child care and reach out to them, that they'll probably give me any position that they have available, maybe even making an intern again.

I'm hoping that I can get a career in IT. I want to get into project management or cybersecurity, but it all starts from the ground up. I'm trying to get my A-plus certification because that's the first one that you need. Then it's the Network Plus and then the cybersecurity. I have to take those tests to get those certifications and have to study for those tests. Now, I'm trying to get a spot at City College. If I stay there for 12 months, I get my associate's degree. That's going to help me study more for the input certification and hopefully get it this time along with the other certifications.

I'm still working on that; hopefully [I’ll] have a stable situation and get my driver's license. I can get a car. But thinking of long, long, long-term goals is, eventually I want to travel with my son every summer. I'm hoping I can get that if I get my IT career and save up money to travel. He wants to see the Eiffel Tower and Statue of Liberty. So those are the first two things we’re going to see.

Epilogue

Much has changed for Ali and Pat since our initial conversations in the spring of 2023.

Pat is now attending first grade in person. Ali was able to get him on a 504 plan, which ensures that a child with disabilities that affect their learning receives the necessary accommodations. “They’re continuing to give him the resources he needs and the support he needs while he's in school because he is now diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD,” she said. “Making sure that he gets the support he needs in school was really important to me.”

Another major change since our initial interviews is that Ali is no longer on house arrest. She’s had three subsequent court hearings. In August 2024, a judge ruled that she was acting in self-defense during the attack, and the charges were reduced to misdemeanors.

Perhaps most excitingly, Ali is now a student at a local community college, working on her IT certifications. Although things are improving, it’s not all smooth sailing—it would still be life-changing if she had access to child care.

“Sometimes I don't make it on time to pick up my son from school,” she said. “Child care would really be helpful at this point.”

[1] In Pennsylvania, receiving SSI does not automatically disqualify a household from obtaining child care subsidies through Child Care Works (CCW), the state’s subsidized child care program. All income, including SSI benefits, is considered when determining eligibility for the subsidy.

[2] Though Ali refers to it as a “shelter,” it was temporary housing for single women.

[3] There was a curfew at the temporary housing, and she was unable to leave if she wanted to keep her bed.

[4] When a child needs to be placed outside of their home, DHS considers other relatives or persons who have an existing, significant relationship with the child. If that relative is able to meet the requirements, that’s where the child is fostered. This option is referred to as “Kinship Care.”

[5] PA CareerLink is a state program offered to Ali through JEVS Human Services.