Mariam Dewi

Mental Health Challenges During the Pandemic

During the COVID epidemic [1], I was also pregnant with my son. I had my son December 26, 2020. It was really tough for me because I’m a social butterfly. I like to go out mingle with friends. We go to church and mingle with the community. I’m from Ghana, West Africa. So, the community is very important where I come from.

But during the COVID time, we couldn't go to church because, which I understood—everybody’s trying to stay away to be safe. But I had a lot of mental breakage because I was so used to being around my community and being around people, and I couldn't go anywhere. I was just stuck at home with the kids, and my husband, and I was pregnant. It was hard for me. I just couldn't handle being away from people that I love so much, you know? Just seeing people on Zoom, it was not enough for me, because I'm used to being around my family, my friends, my church, members, and community. It was very depressing. Then on top of that, I was pregnant, so I had to protect myself and protect the baby.

And I also had my twins. They were six or seven, and they had to be home. They were homeschooled for a while. And it was so hard for them because they're also social butterflies like me. And it was very, very depressing. It was very emotionally, mentally—it was just very depressing. They couldn’t see their friends at school. They were used to seeing their cousins, and they couldn't see their cousins, they couldn't see their aunties, they couldn't see grandma, grandpa.

I couldn't see my parents because my parents work in the healthcare field. They work in nursing homes. And because of me being pregnant, they didn't want to come around because they didn't know if they had the COVID or not. So, they were also staying away from us, which was very, very hard for me to take.

My kids were young; they didn't understand why. My husband and I told them that there's an epidemic going on, we all had to stay away to be safe. But they didn't know what that was. They were kids. They still wanted to see their grandma. They still wanted to see their family. It was really hard, especially for my daughter. It really broke my heart. It really broke us down. It really did. It was a hard time for this country, for the whole world, for every family member.

My twins were home. I did homeschool with them. Before the epidemic, if I had to go to work, my mom used to watch them. Either my mom or my husband's sisters will help watch the kids for me, so I didn't have that much issue with childcare because I wasn't taking them to a daycare. I know there was families who couldn’t have daycare because everything was closed. It was a very hard time. I couldn't have my mom watch them because she works at a nursing home or group home, and we had to stay away from each other for a while.

When I was pregnant, and I wasn't able to go to work, I was home with them. It was a little stressful because you now see what teachers were going through with the kids. It was, like, wow, I am very appreciative of all the teachers, all the hard work they do, because they work very hard.

Pandemic Aid Was a Lifeline

People were struggling with finances. So, we did get some [government] benefits, which I'm so grateful for. I don't know about other countries, but we were grateful for the country of America, that they really helped a lot. A whole lot.

My husband was the only one working. I wasn't working. I work as a certified nursing assistant at a nursing home. My husband drives trucks and delivers food to restaurants, nursing homes, hospitals. Where I was working, there was a lot of COVID cases, especially in the memory care, which was very, very hard for me because most of the clients—I knew them—and I couldn’t go to work. I was home. And all I would hear is, ‘Oh, this person passed away. And this person.’ It was just so emotional. It was so much to take in. [weeping.] I’m sorry. Watching the news made me depressed. I cried about everything. I was very emotional. It was a rough time for the world.

I love to work, and I couldn't work because my doctor was scared for me. I had a high-risk pregnancy with complications, and they didn't want me to work.

At that time, with the unemployment, it was helpful because they were able to give us a break, especially with my medical condition. That was the first time I ever applied for unemployment. Ever since I've been in this country and working, I've never applied for unemployment. We are a hard-working family. And honestly, at that time, I didn't want to. But with my condition, my doctor was like, ‘You qualify for it.’ So, I did go for it, and I was approved, and it helped a whole lot for my family. Because it was just hard going from two parents working to one of the parents just working. But with unemployment coming in, it was very helpful for the family, for us to still get back on our feet. The unemployment, it was very generous for [the government] to stand it for however long they did. People needed it. I thought that was very good of them to do that. It helped a lot of families. A lot of families.

Medical was my biggest thing. We had medical insurance through UCare, [a nonprofit that administers Medicaid and other health programs in Minnesota]. They will call and remind you, ‘Don't forget to go for your appointment. Don't forget your vaccine.’ They were very, very good keeping you up to date with what was going on, how to be safe, reminding you, ‘Don’t forget to wear your mask.’ The medical part was big. That was my number one concern, especially because I had kids. We were able to get access to doctors. It was a big deal. I even had COVID during the time I was pregnant. It was really hard for the family. That was before the vaccines. The medical was the part that helped. We still have care through the state.

I did talk to a couple of people [about depression and mental health] that they assigned me because I was pregnant at that time, and all my hormones and my emotions were all over the place. They were able to assign me to talk to someone, which was very helpful. And I had my family to also talk to on the phone. It was very helpful.

We didn't think about applying [for nutrition aid.] There was so many things going on I didn't even take a look at that.

The stimulus payments [and the Child Tax Credit payments] came right on time for a lot of families, and that was also really good. We were able to pay some stuff that we were late on. Everybody’s trying to see how they will feed their family and still have shelter over their head. That was very nice of the government to do that, to think about families, and think ‘ Oh, they're going to need help,’ because people were going through a lot. Financially, it was really hard on a lot of families that we know personally. A lot of families—one parent couldn't work because one parent has to be home with the kids while the other parent goes. So, the stimulus came right on time, and it helped a lot of us.

I was very worried [about being evicted]. I didn't want to be kicked out. The state did have a program that you can't kick people out. That was also really good. I don't know about other states, but in Minnesota, they had a program you could not kick anybody out during that time.

You just had to work with your landlord. And where I live, they were very nice and very gracious. They worked with us. This epidemic, everybody came together and worked as a team. Everyone was helping each other. Everybody was trying to make sure that their neighbor or their neighborhood, that everyone was good. People were doing so many things—dropping off food for people, dropping off clothes. It was just beautiful just watching how everybody came together and worked as a team. It was just so beautiful. Just seeing everybody working together to help each other.

Juggling Child Care

I went back to work after I had my son, and so this has been good. My husband is back to work. The kids are grown a little older now. I know the [government] help has gone down and I know some families are still struggling to get back on their feet. But for our family, thank God, it hasn't been as bad.

We don’t have any child care right now. What I've noticed about the child care [subsidy] is it's a long waiting list. Once you apply, you wait for forever. We've applied, but we're still on the waiting list, and I cannot sit and wait to get approved. I have to go back to work. My husband cannot be the only one working. Both of us have to provide. So right now, I have my mom and my dad who help watch the kids. Mostly my mom. We take turns. If I work in the morning, then my mom works in the afternoon. We work with each other's schedule. And my husband, the days that he's off, if I have to work a double that day, he would take my younger one. We try to make it work for each other. I’m blessed to have my mom and dad watch the kids. I know it’s not the case for everybody. It’s hard if you don’t have anyone.

I would love for the government to do more and help still. I think they're still helping; it's just, it might not be as much as when the epidemic was happening. I believe they could do better. I mean, help a little more. I don't know where the economy is at right now, but they could do better to help families, because we still need help. Even we're working, but sometimes, you feel like you're living from paycheck to paycheck. You gotta make ends meet. It’s hard for a lot of us. You try to pay your mortgage, pay your bills, and stuff. It's hard.

What It Will Take for Families to Thrive

I would love to have medical insurance for families. I think that will be a number one goal because a lot of families don't have insurance, or even if they do, it's very expensive. So the government can do better with the medical. And child care. I know so many people who cannot go back to work because they don't have anybody to watch their kids. And shelter. Things are very expensive, and rent is going way up. So, the three goals that I will love to see is health care, child care, and help with shelter.

Schoolwise, we do have the reduced lunch, which is very helpful. But I would hope for just more programs for kids after school. That would be very helpful because some of us—we're working families. We can't work long hours because we have to pick up the kids after school. So I think it would be nice to have an after school program.

And it would be very helpful if the government can also help families with the finances, help boost the parents, even if it’s, like every month, maybe $200 or $300 is helpful because things are so expensive.

It would be helpful if the government can help with the pay rate because things are expensive, but the pay rate is not going up. You go to the store, gas, everything has gone up. It’s like, by the time you get your check, the check is already done. So, I think the government can do better with the pay; they can help boost it up. Right now, I make I think it’s $18 an hour. Before the COVID, I believe it was $15. Afterward, it went up to $18 or $19, which is good, but it could still be better.

Some people may think people who need help are lazy or don’t want to work. There might still be one bad apple with all the good ones. But I don't think that all the good apples should be punished because of one bad apple. There's actually people out here who really need help. A lot of us working class families need help.

[1] The World Health Organization classified COVID-19 as a pandemic. We didn't change the language used for several reasons, which you can read about here.